Let the journey begin...

Hello! Thanks for stopping by! I truly appreciate you taking the time, or caring to for that matter. Since you did, I guess I will get right to the point. For a long, long time, I haven’t truly been happy. Happy with who or what you may wonder? Well the answer is pretty simple; I haven’t been happy with me.

Now please, don’t get me wrong. I have an amazing family, and amazing group of close friends, and an amazing group of acquaintances as well. In short, much of my life has been pretty…amazing. But there have been a few things that have caused me to question how, in spite of all the amazing aspects of my life, do I fit in?

Okay, another facet to this epiphany of self-realization is the big pink and purple unicorn in the room; the approach of a milestone birthday. As of today, there are exactly 424 days until I reach 50 years of age. It may come as a surprise to you, but I honestly never thought I would live to see fifty. Not for anything specific, it just seemed an unattainable goal. Who knows, it still may be; a lot can happen in a year. However, I can tell you that I plan to be here to see that day…and many others afterward. 

Which is much of the reason for starting this process…and this blog.

As we all know, the key to any longevity is to be healthy. I truly am blessed to say that as of today, I am a pretty healthy fellow. I don’t drink to excess (often) I try to eat well, I get a good amount of rest, I try to manage stress…in short, I do almost everything I am supposed to do. I am hypertensive, which I take a single medication for every day, and it stays in check. So the insides are clicking on almost all cylinders, which is a good thing. My problem, and it has become a BIG problem over the last couple of years, is that the healthy inside doesn’t match the outside. That is the thing I am most unhappy about.

As a gay man (and if this revelation surprises you, you REALLY should be paying closer attention), aesthetics are big! Oh sure, it’s as easy to fall for an unattractive person as it is for an attractive one, right? This transcends being gay, and applies to almost every human being on the planet. But wouldn’t it be nice to fall on the attractive side of that scale? I know I know, that sounds incredibly shallow. I hear you, and I agree. And don’t get me wrong; I am grateful every day that I had two attractive parents who got together and created…me. Believe me, I truly am. But I truly feel that I haven’t done enough to maintain my outside, so that it matches better with my inside. Does that make sense? I hope it does to you, because sometimes I still find it all so baffling!

A sample of the "Men Over 50" featured in Out Magazine
 by tommy + alan photography

If you have read this far, again my thanks, and I will be getting to the point shortly. Let’s go back to the 50 year elephant in the room. A while back I posted an article from the good folks at “Out” magazine promoting a new photography project from the very talented tommy + alan photography of Los Angeles. Their subject? Men over 50. 50 has been called the “new 40” for a long time, but these gentlemen…wow! Some are well over 50, but still look amazing. After seeing this, I decided that this was the push that I needed; I was going to do whatever it takes to be “Fab at 50!”

I should preface by saying that “whatever” is limited to creating a better program of diet, exercise, and improving my own sense of well-being. Plastic surgery, that includes lipo, fat freezing or whatever that cold knife process is, and the like are NOT on the table at all. I am blessed with a good physiology, and I plan to make the most of it. That’s why I reach out to my good pal, Jim Keizer for help.

The "real" me...but not for long!

For those of you who know Jim, you know he looks pretty good. So being the inquiring mind that I am, I asked him how. And he kindly consented to help me with this journey. We met recently at his place in lower downtown, to discuss a food diary and general health questionnaire that he had me complete. That’s how I knew he wasn’t messing around! Then, came out these calipers, and I became a bit concerned.  There, in the cold light of a Monday afternoon, I stripped down to exercise shorts in the gymnasium of his building. Did I mention they gym was quite busy full of body-beautiful twentysomethings discussing their weekend of debauchery, boozing and bed-hopping? Well, maybe that wasn’t what they were talking about. But their mere presence made the task at hand, which was mainly to “evaluate” exactly how much work Jim had to do, made the task seem even more humiliating.  Mercifully, it was only a few moments, but these were moments that will be forever etched in my memory for some time to come.

So, that’s the real reason for this blog; accountability. My goal, and I need the help of all of you to reach it, is to commit to a course of action that will help me get to my goal of being “Fab at 50.” I am committing to do the work necessary, and according to Jim (that should be the name of his TV show! Wait…never mind…) the work will not always be pleasant. Will it work? I certainly hope so, but if it doesn’t, I hope I will at least feel free of the disappointment I feel with the “outside” Jeffery.

So what are my goals for outside Jeffery? Well, the biggest is to feel more comfortable in my own skin. And yes, for that skin to be a bit more appealing to the masses wouldn’t be an all-together bad outcome either. Still, I know it is going to take work. So that’s where you come in…

Jeffery is a social animal, as most of you know. So, if you see me, ask about how the process is going. I also welcome your thought, things you’ve done that work for you, recipes for good tasting healthy foods…stuff like that. I am also granting, within limits, the right to call me out if you catch me doing something I shouldn’t! They say it takes a village, so I am calling on all the townsfolk for help in this journey. Are you in it with me?

Again, thanks for listening! This is a mighty post to read…bravo for sticking it out until the end. I will try to keep the next 423 entries a lot more brief. To the journey…

Word of the Day...

Oh, I almost forgot! So, you also know I am a BIG fan of social media! On Halloween I posted a photo with the words, “Describe me in one word.” Thanks to those of you who responded. To help me along the journey, I will be taking your kind words, and from time to time offering you my own interpretation of what it means to me. So, for the first entry in this blog, I will be taking the first word…AMAZING!

Well, as kind as that is, I don’t always been amazing. Granted, I already said my life is pretty amazing, and it is. I am involved in my community, and hopefully making it a bit better than it was when I shuffled onto the scene…to me that is amazing. I am constantly awed at what others do to make the world better. To me, my contributions seem minor, but in the long run may have a lasting impact. I am honored that someone finds me amazing…because I have been blessed in some many ways in this life. To me, that is what makes me amazing…the blessings that I have received that have helpe3d to shape me into the man that I am today.