Prières pour Paris; صلاة لباريس, and prayers for the bullies of the world!

Hearts go out to Paris and Beirut

Wow! To call this a week would be a gross understatement. Everything I am doing, these changes in my way of living, seem so minimal in light of the tragedies that occurred in Paris and Beirut. It seems so senseless and puts a lot of things in perspective. To those effected directly by these tragedies, and those of us peering through the windows at the sadness, my heart, and the hearts of many other go out to you. Be strong, and those intent on instilling fear and terror under the misguided name of religion will not win. With that said…

It was all in all a great week! I had a doctor’s appointment, where the news was not only good, it was great! Cholesterol, both the good and the bad, at great levels, blood pressure was at an all-time low during an appointment, and the best part…my weight was down 10 pounds since my last visit! Now that said, my last visit was about 3 months ago, so that’s not saying a lot, but I will take the praise where I can get it.

Not to be glossed over, but as a lot of African Americans I am hypertensive. It’s just in the DNA of

Part of what I'm trying to prevent
with this journey

myself, and countless others of my race. Management is about the only thing you can do for it, although I do take medication for maintenance as well. At the behest of my doctor, every three months we review the chart of my BP I take at home, every day at the same time. I have seem a gradual reduction in the number over the last couple of weeks; and I can only account for this by patting myself on the back for sticking to this new plan of eating. I am at day 10 officially today, and have had no problems sticking to it. But we will get to that a bit later…

I also had a good visit with the “Guru Keizer;” I think even he was genuinely surprised at the changes in my body measurements in such a short period of time. Here is how it breaks down…I lost .8% body fat for the week; that is roughly about 3.3 pounds. Guru Keizer usually looks for a change in the .6%-1.4% area, so once I am more online with my supplementation and the like, I will be on track. While in my mind I saw the process taking the better part of my last year of my 40’s, he seems to think that some significantly

I dumped 2/3 of this baby!

noticeable changes can occur in about 10-12 weeks! Can you stand it?!? A new me for 2016…love it!

So many folks have shared with me that they are following this blog, and I couldn’t be happier to hear that! As I said in the first posting, it is a way to garner support from a broader community, and offer info that may be of help to others. Are my methods entirely selfish? I don’t think so because it also makes me accountable too. So while I blog away about what some folks have called “nonsense” and “crap,” I will continue to do so…for myself as well as for the potential to motivate someone else to take charge of their health and their life!

Which brings me to one of the unpleasant “side-effects” of this blog; the haters. I received a private message on Facebook from a “friend,” and I use the term very loosely in describing this individual, asking why at my age and I bothering with this. While I won’t name names, I will share the exact quote as I received it;

“You look alright for a guy your age…but I don’t see this body transformation happening for you. Just deal with it. You can only change what you can change, and I just don’t see this happening for you. Better just give it up and go back to the old ‘Jeff.’ He was much more fun anyway.”

Wow…that was all I could muster to say. At first.

Guru Keizer told me the very first time we met to talk about taking on this journey, about how there will be people who don’t want to see you succeed. They will do their level best to undermine you at every turn, just so you can continue to be less in their eyes, while making them more in their own. Well I am here to tell you, that ain’t gonna fly with this guy. I have been described as having a quiet “rage” in me that presses me to accomplish what I want to. Do I always do it in the time frame intended? Not a chance. But in the end, I do it…and do it pretty well I might add.

Lovely Lizzie Velasquez

My dear lovely friend Barbara Brooks, along with two of her equally lovely friends Cynthia Treadwell and Kristen Knutson Jansen hosted a theater full of about 170 people this past Thursday for a screening of powerful documentary all ab out an amazing young woman by the name of Lizzie Velasquez. The film, “A Brave Heart,” was screened in a theater of parents, children, students, those who had been bullied as a child, and those who had admittedly been bullies, and was a transformative experience for all I think. At least it was for me.

Now I’m not one to quote the country/pop phenom that is Taylor Swift, but I think she hit it on the head when she said…”Haters Gonna Hate.” This makes me incredibly sad. I love it when people I care about succeed; in whatever their endeavor. I would never intentionally try to make someone feel bad about their goals or accomplishments. One individual’s success is success for all of us in my opinion, and there is room at the top for all of us!

Back to Lizzie for a second. If you haven’t seen her amazing TED talk, you should…it may be life-changing. While it would be easy for us sometimes to just lie down and accept all the negativity that is heaped on us by others, she is a true lesson in the power of forgiveness. In the film she actually says she wishes she could be the person who chose to single her out on YouTube as the “Ugliest Woman in the World,” and thank them. Yes…thank them. One of my favorite quotes that Lizzie says in her talks deals with how to handle the negativity of others…

“People are going to have these opinions (of me), but I’m not going to let it affect me.”

Simple…to the point…and so very true. So to the “friend” who thinks my journey is pointless, I direct this quote to you. And if this doesn’t get the message through, consider what Lizzie says when trying to remain positive, and what I might adopt as my mantra as well…

“What would Julia Roberts do?”

Tell me something I don't know! ;)

For this weeks “Descriptive of Jeffery,” I choose the word complicated. While I don’t initially think of myself as a complicated type, I see where I could be construed as such. Being an only child has made me fiercely independent, and the company I like the best sometimes is my own. It’s not that I am not social mind you, just sometimes I am my own best company.

I can also be complicated when it comes to relationships. I am very matter of fact, however in most situations I can see some gray between the black and white. I think also by the nature of my astrological sign (Capricorn for those keeping score) we are stubborn by nature. This little adjective fits me to a tee. Surprised? Don’t be…it manifests itself in strange and unusual ways.

I'm no Christian Bale,
but you get the idea

I have been likened to “Batman” before (which I take as a compliment), but more so for his alter ego Bruce Wayne. While I was not orphaned as a child and left billions of dollars to support my whimsical life as a crime fighter, I can see the similarity. I am a bit of a mystery wrapped up in an enigma. As I mentioned in a previous post about wearing my heart on my sleeve, the flip side of that is my keeping a lot of the cards in my life close to the vest. Meaning, I am not always forthcoming, but when prompted, I can have a yard sale with the best of them!

I was raised by the saint that is my mom Sylvia, and I couldn’t have asked for a better parent. She was stern when necessary loving when necessary, a champion, a cheerleader and a friend. She is, in short, the best parent a kid could hope to have. Especially one that was born gay. She has never, ever made me feel like a mistake, or less than who I am for being gay. She has supported me in my craziness, offered some simple home-spin advice when needed, and always had an ear to listen. She is my go-to…which for some probably seems strange.

I have a small (and I do mean SMALL) base of friends that I can rely on as well. But still, even with these friends/soulmates, I still keep a lot inside. Not sure why, but I do…

I guess part of it is because I have always been the guy that folks come to with their problems. I listen, intently, and if asked offer some minor opinion that may or may not make a difference. And the end of it, the person sharing feels much better, while I am left to process whatever it is we discussed on my own. That’s where that independence can get me into trouble. I am far too empathetic, and carry around a lot more that I probably should. But I do…consistently.

This could be some of the things that make me complicated I guess.  But not so complicated that I would ever stop caring about those that matter to me. It would just be nice if once in a while, I could unload some of what I carry around on someone as well…

Thanks for reading! See you again very soon!